Namaste!
After going through some upheaval in life recently, I decided to make some well needed changes. One of those changes was to start a healthier lifestyle and to lose the baby weight I had been carrying around for nearly 2 years. A week after giving birth I looked at the scales to see that I was still 15kg heavier than what I was before pregnancy! I really could not believe it, I was offically overweight. It is not that I am superficial about that sort of thing. I am only 5ft 3inch tall and having all that extra weight on my body really did feel straining, I had joint pain etc from it. And for some reason that I did not understand until now, that weight continued to stay with me for the next 2 years.
I really think that the weight was actually "emotional weight" that I had been carrying around. I had a difficult pregnancy, a difficult and long labour (38hours), post natal depression, and then lost a pregnancy last year. I felt very overwhelmed, stressed and tired for a long period of time. I had no family near by and my husband worked long hours, I felt very alone. I can remember there were many weeks where all I did was cry with my gorgeous new baby in my arms. In hindsight I wished I had reached out to someone.
After life had settled down and I had got used to being a new mum, I really did try and lose weight but with only small success. I would lose a few kilos and then gain them back again. I could not work out why.
But a few months ago I had an "awakening" of sorts. I realised that I will still carrying around not only the trauma of pregnancy, birthing and the loss of a baby, but also other situations I had been through from childhood. The issue of my eating disorder from my teenage years, a sexual assault that occured whilst walking to school at age 13, and a few other things from years ago were still like fresh memories in my head. I often cried and became emotional when thinking about them, meaning I had still not let them go. I had given my power away to these situations and people that had caused me pain. It was time to take that power back and let go of the emotions that I carried from them. Yes I had been through tough times and experienced things I would never wish upon anyone, but it was time to move on and let them go.
But a few months ago I had an "awakening" of sorts. I realised that I will still carrying around not only the trauma of pregnancy, birthing and the loss of a baby, but also other situations I had been through from childhood. The issue of my eating disorder from my teenage years, a sexual assault that occured whilst walking to school at age 13, and a few other things from years ago were still like fresh memories in my head. I often cried and became emotional when thinking about them, meaning I had still not let them go. I had given my power away to these situations and people that had caused me pain. It was time to take that power back and let go of the emotions that I carried from them. Yes I had been through tough times and experienced things I would never wish upon anyone, but it was time to move on and let them go.
Once I consciously realised what I was doing, and that the physical weight I was carrying was just a manifestation of emotional trauma, an immense feeling of relief and inner peace came over me. I was no longer struggling against my past and I was ready to let all that go. I was ready to embrace change and move with the flow again. I changed the way I thought about my body and stopped feeding my emotions with food.
Since that moment I have now lost 9 kilos and counting. I still have a bit to go but the weight is coming off gradually as I slowly shed the layers of trauma, negavitity and emotions that I no longer need. I have taken back my power and the feeling is truly amazing. I am not on any special diet or excercise plan and yes, I still do eat chocolate, just not the mountain loads I used to eat. I now feel that food is to be enjoyed and not abused. My goddess within is a part of my everyday life and I now have a love of self that Ive never experienced before.
I really do urge any of you who are struggling with your weight to take a look at what that weight represents. Is there something you are not emotionally letting go of from your past? It may be worth having a think about.
Since that moment I have now lost 9 kilos and counting. I still have a bit to go but the weight is coming off gradually as I slowly shed the layers of trauma, negavitity and emotions that I no longer need. I have taken back my power and the feeling is truly amazing. I am not on any special diet or excercise plan and yes, I still do eat chocolate, just not the mountain loads I used to eat. I now feel that food is to be enjoyed and not abused. My goddess within is a part of my everyday life and I now have a love of self that Ive never experienced before.
I really do urge any of you who are struggling with your weight to take a look at what that weight represents. Is there something you are not emotionally letting go of from your past? It may be worth having a think about.
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